The Endless Wave - Commentary by the Banana Nosed Custard Chucker

Last weekend, White went to Bali in search of waves, little did he know that you can find a perfectly good wave here in the Dhabi behind Stolzy's boat...



Special Guest - The Banana Nosed Custard Cucker

Good day, friends.  My name is the Banana Nosed Custard Chucker, and I have been invited by Team banana to guest write my commentary of the above clip, which I will do with pleasure, because I am a good analyser.

With his bulging biceps and sinewy torso, one would be forgiven for thinking that this is Arnold Schwartzenegger surfing behind the boat (admittedly as Arnie would appear as viewed through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars) but it's not.  It is in fact former South African policeman, and long-time friend of Vegas, David "I rule with an iron claw" Stolzenberg who is lovingly grasping the rope, whilst showing the kind of grace and agility usually associated with White on the dance floor in Heroes nightclub.  Observe the clear blue sea, the rippling wake, the fine physique of Stolzenberg, as the wind rushes through his tight curly locks - it's an idyllic scene isn't it? All it needs is a bowl of bananas and custard grasped in Stolzy's left hand, or carefully balanced on his head and I think we have achieved paradise. I bloody love custard I do - eating it, chucking it, wiping it all over the walls - it's just brilliant. You know that feeling you get when you smear custard all over your face and legs and then roll around on the floor? No...? Well neither do I... However it is that kind of carefree ecstasy that I imagine Stolzenberg is feeling as he surfs the wake, like a small south african dolphin. The sheer concentration on David's face is mesmerising - to me, it's as if he has just been presented with a huge bowl of bananas and custard, and is deciding which banana chunk he is going to eat first. It's never an easy decision, and often takes me well over 30 minutes to decide…  Is it me, or are our Stolzy’s feet bigger than the wake board itself?  They are also completely rectangular, and look like they have been drawn on 'cartoon style' by a small child.  In addition, I am particularly transfixed on the wake produced by the boat, since it is not unlike a long stream of Devon's finest Ambrosia custard; mind you I would say that; you see I utterly love custard.

Warmest, potassium-filled regards

The Banana Nosed Custard Chucker